10 day self repentance

"Search me, O God and know my heart; 

test me and know my anxious thoughts. 

See if there is ay offensive way in me,

 and lead me in the way everlasting."-Psalm 139:23

         I was reading a blog about a week ago by Kelly Needham that was written day by day about a 10 day self repentance journey she went on. The basis of it was that each day she spent an hour at the least with the Lord searching her heart and asking Him to bring light to things personally in her character, thoughts, or attitudes that were not glorifying to the Lord. 

         Lately I have felt the Lord putting self discipline heavy on my heart. Discipline and order in the way of my finances, my eating habits, my devotional time, self habits, and my running. God has brought freedom in my life in so many forms and has proved himself over and over with all the HUGE walls in my life He has brought down. It is amusing to me how all the big things in my life I believed He could break down but when He asks to put in order in my life I somehow believe it is literally impossible. I am the MOST unorganized person in the world. Every time I try to make habit of anything it seems to just be a fleeting phase. But that doesn't change the fact that the Lord knows my heart and He knows my desires. He cares for even the simplest of things like order in my life. For years it has been my desire to have self discipline and now it is time to trust that He will mold me to fit that desire regardless of how tiny a need it is. 

        This by no means is a self improvement journey or a 10 days to become a better christian. This is about giving the Lord what is rightfully His, all of me. This is about becoming dependent and surrendering to the Lord. I pray that this journey never becomes about me, but is always focused on Jesus. So here is to the next ten days of my life, Lord have your way with me.