Day 1

Perfectionism

This is the word the Lord put on my heart this morning in prayer. 

Perfectionism, is a belief that perfection can and should be attained. Perfectionism is a belief that work or output that is anything less than perfect is unacceptable.

Lord I repent of trying to be perfect all the time by independently carrying my own burdens or the belief that it is unacceptable for me to come to you any other way than perfect. 

    I can not count the times in my life I have grieved the Holy Spirit due to the fact I wanted to fix everything myself before any molding was done. I have always grown up with the mindset of whatever I do I am going to do it right and I am going to be the best at it. I will literally throw myself into whatever I am doing in order to get it right. I have been called an "over achiever" countless times and for good reason. I have always based my worth on the outcome of my work. In return I have made my relationship with the Lord that of me being His workhorse. If I am going to be real here in my eyes He is a God who demands perfection and is abundant in disappointment and slow to giving grace. Now I know that is not the God I serve but I know that is how I perceive Him sometimes. I know that Jesus Christ did not die so that I could prove myself to God. He died because I am a sinner and could not prove myself. He died so I wouldn't have to live under the law of perfectionism. 

While praying I asked the Lord to send me His word to confirm what He was working in me and this is what I read.

1 Timothy 1:15-16 says this: 

          "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance:

                 Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners- of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus may display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life."

I had to reread it over and over again "Christ Jesus may display his unlimited patience", "Christ Jesus may display his unlimited patience." What beautifully addicting words these were that brought freedom to my imprisoned life. I don't have to get it right the first time. I don't have to restart everything and have it to be perfect in order for it to count. I don't have to perfect myself (as if I even could ha!) before speaking to the Lord. 

 I began to understand that Holiness is not forming ourselves to be perfect. Holiness is not a straight shot, its not a phase we must get through perfectly. Holiness is the choices we make whether small or big in order to glorify His name. We achieve Holiness by laying our lives in his hands completely dependent on Him so that only His work can be seen. We must be so dependent that in our union His holiness becomes ours by us becoming one with Him. It's all about Him and trusting His perfection as our own guide and not working for our own. 

"This is how we know that we belong to truth, 

and how we set our hearts at rest 

in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us. 

For God is greater than our hearts and He knows everything."-